Searching
by Atreides
Summary: A cliched beginner's story of Quatre and his lost love-- or is he really lost? Please, review b/c I need help w/ my stories.


Disclaimers: none of this belongs to me, and if you sue, you'll get some nickels, a rubber band, and my nasty cat, Sassy.

Warnings: Angst/Sap. 2+4, if you don't like Yaoi, don't read. 

P.S. Very cliched. Enjoys!

Quatre sat at his desk, staring at another pile of paperwork waiting for him to sign or look through. He sighed, in defeat, and let his head lay on the desk, folding his arms over his head. 'Another day I have to sit here, another day I can't find him. Where is he?' Quatre pounded his fists into the hard wood. 'He can't hide forever.'

A beep from his telephone made him sit up. He answered, and as he heard the news from the other line, dropped the phone and started to cry with joy. 'He's there. I've found him. Duo's not dead.'

Duo once again finished his job as an auto mechanic, and went back to his grungy apartment. It was in the middle of the city, one of the ones that the government had slapped onto the ground after the war, to accomodate the millions of people without houses to call home. As he opened the door, he gave his apartment a once over and sighed. 

Water dripped from the ceiling, leaving water stains everywhere. Garbage littered the floor, and the windows were cracked. There were two rooms. He had a yard-sale sofa that was his bed in one room, and a stove and fridge in the other. He dropped his coat on the floor, and dejectedly sat on the sofa. 

'I hate my life. I hate myself. This is all I deserve for what I did to everyone.' He curled up on the worn sofa, and cried himself to sleep.

The next morning, he got up and dressed himself, braiding his hair, that hadn't been washed in weeks, and went to his job.

Meanwhile, Quatre had found Duo's apartment, and, although ecstatic about finding it, become more and more sullen as he saw the physical appearance of the outside of the building.

'Duo,' Quatre looked it up and down, 'What have you put yourself through?'

He went up to the door of Duo's apartment, and gave it a timid knock. When no one answered for a few minutes, he called Duo's name out. Still, with no answer, Quatre decided to see if he could get inside. After a few minutes of struggling with the lock, he picked it open with a pin and opened the door.

He gasped as he saw the interior. 

"Duo, Duo, no no no," he repeated to himself as he saw the delapadated sofa and disgusting floor. "Why couldn't you have taken my offer of living with me? I want you to be happy! Duo... I love you."

Quatre sat down on the sofa, and started to cry softly. Duo, in the meantime, had finished his job and found his door to be open. 'Jeese, can't those thieves find a better house to... rob...' his thoughts trailed off as he saw the blonde-haired man lying on his sofa, crying.

Quatre, hearing the door slam, quickly sat up, and seeing Duo, tried to wipe away his tears.

"What... are you doing here...?" Duo stuttered.

Duo had never wanted to see him again, not because he hated him, but because he knew he wouldn't be able to stand seeing the embodiment of perfection before him. He had always known that his life was less than wonderful, and when put against Quatre's, he had felt unworthy, although, deep in his heart, he yearned for the angel's love. 

Quatre looked at Duo, and started to sob again. He saw a crumpled, frail young man, with sunken eyes, and a haunted look. His heart cried out for Duo, and he ran over to Duo and wrapped his arms around him, sobbing into Duo's chest. Duo, taken by surprise, stood there uncertain of what to do.

Quatre eventually let him go, and, wiping his eyes, looked at Duo with all the love he could muster.

"Duo... why are you living like this?" He asked, despairing.

Duo stood silent, not wanting to answer the dreadful question. Any way that he answered would not convince Quatre, he was sure of it. But, he decided on answering, for Quatre's sake.

"I don't deserve anything better." He simply stated dejectedly.

Quatre shook his head, "No! Duo, no! That's not true! What makes you feel that?"

Duo hung his head, and a tear managed to slip by his defenses, "Because nothing can compare to you," he whispered.

Quatre stood there, struck dumb by the answer.

"My life, couldn't ever even come close to yours. My parents didn't want me, I killed my best friend. Hell, I kill everyone I care about. Sister Helen, Father Maxwell...Solo..." Duo trailed off, trying to blink back tears.

Quatre hesitantly put his hand on Duo's shoulder, "I care about you."

Duo pulled away, "No!! You can't!! I can't!! I'll kill you!"

And with that, Duo ran out of the room, leaving a dumb-founded Quatre to stand there, and try to figure out what went wrong.

Duo stopped as he reached the park. He slowly went up to a swing, and sat down, rocking it back and forth. 'Why can't he leave me alone? I can't love him, I can't... I'll kill him...' He sat there for a while, not noticing Quatre approach.

Quatre just stood there for a few minutes, trying to work out his emotions. He finally decided to tell Duo everything, musing that nothing could really get worse. He sat down on the swing next to Duo, and started to talk. Duo looked up, startled at Quatre's voice.

"I'm not as innocent as you think."

Duo started to protest.

"No," Quatre stated, "I've killed as many as you have. I've gone against the orders of my father. I've killed him...." he trailed off.

"I'm.. sorry," Duo said slowly.

"Yes, everyone is sorry, aren't they?" Quatre mused out loud, sardonically, "They all feel sorry for the littlest Winner. Even though, he's not as innocent as they think."

Duo sat silent.

"But, Duo, you and I are on the same ground. We know what each other have been through. And we've survived it all. Sure, everyone thought of as sinners, then as heroes, but through it all, Duo, we've only been.. us."

"Quatre..."

Quatre cut him off, "Duo, you aren't as stained as you think. I wouldn't love you if you were anything else."

Duo looked up, and met Quatre's soft blue eyes. 

"Quatre..." he looked down, and said softly, "I love you too."

Quatre kneeled down in front of Duo and lifted Duo's chin to meet eye to eye. "I don't care if you think you kill everyone you care about. What I do care about is you, and I want to be with you, forever."

Duo smiled, and answered, "Forever."

As the sun set, the two young men walked hand and hand, into perfection itself.


End file.
